1 Identify the dumpling
The term is so deliciously slang that one would almost forget some unfortunate implications. “You can lose a client, a job or even the esteem of a colleague because of a” ball “,” recalls Olivier Moch, author of the book. Managers, communicate better with your employees! This communication specialist advises to question oneself about one's mistakes and the consequences in order to react as best as possible. “Too many employees, and in particular managers, fear acknowledging their wrongs for fear of losing legitimacy. However, we can just come out grown up by recognizing a mistake. “
“”Too many employees are afraid to recognize their wrongs for fear of losing legitimacy. However, we can just come out grown up by recognizing an error.”
2 Do not hide it
It may seem more comfortable to deny the fault or to drown it in a vague collective responsibility. Problem: “By trying to manipulate the other, you scramble the message, you get lost in the details and you get nowhere,” says Alexandre Dubarry. This consultant, author of the famous guide How to tell a colleague that he smells bad under his arms, works to resolve all emotional conflicts in business. “In trying to deceive your world, you think yourself very cunning. But your interlocutor is at least as much as you, and your clumsiness in wanting to use roundabouts attracts attention and gives rise to misunderstandings. Inefficiency is almost certain. You will acquire the reputation of being deceitful, of playing a double game and ultimately lose the consideration we give to someone who makes a commitment and takes responsibility for his words. “
3 Choose the right words to recognize your mistake …
Be careful not to take responsibility for your mistakes anyhow. “” The art and manner of presenting the facts are essential, testifies Alain Thiry, psychologist specialized in NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming) applied to the company. If I made a mess with a client, how can I not compromise our future collaboration? What if I made a mistake in the office, how can I keep the trust of my colleagues or my manager? »Before taking it upon himself, this consultant invites interested parties to analyze their error in order to present the incident constructively with assertiveness in four steps. “It is therefore a question of describing the ball in the most neutral way possible, of expressing a feeling, of proposing a solution, and above all of valuing the solution and its positive consequences. The interlocutor will normally be respectful of the courage expressed. And reassured to know that the incident, closes, should not happen again. “
4 … but don't apologize
” A common mistake is to apologize flatly, continues Alain Thiry. Because even if the intention is good, the message is scrambled. The psychologist recalls in passing that the correct grammatical formulation should be to “ask the other to excuse him”. “But beyond that, the word excuse presupposes that there is a culprit. I recommend instead to say that we are sorry, for example. This allows the facts to be played down a bit from the outset. »And to words, can sometimes be added a few gestures. “On a human level, to close the parenthesis, an invitation to lunch is worth all the speeches. The relationship will be more easily repaired and will gain in quality.
5 And accept the dumplings of others
Finally, it remains to apply these teachings… to others. Fault confessed is half redressed ? Alexandre Dubarry recommends in any case not to get carried away, whatever the mistake recognized. “We often give in to a more immediate movement, which pushes us to defend ourselves and respond, without always measuring the impact of the response. ” Gold it is more effective to salute the effort and learn from it for the future. “The greatest danger lies in the fact that emotions are ‘contagious': people who are attacked keep an indelible trace of them. If they are brought in to work with you, or for you, they will feel hurt or demotivated. “
