Retraining: changing jobs by becoming a parent … the three fears to overcome

Elliot Page dans le film « Juno », réalisé par Jason Reitman (2007).

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Posted on Nov 19, 2021, 7:03 am

Become a parent. It's an emotional tsunami, with its good and bad sides, that often changes our view of the professional world. Our desires can change, our place too, our convictions, the search for meaning, and above all the famous work-life balance.

But it is difficult to arbitrate between the security package – stability inherent in the arrival of a child, and that of development, specific to each.

“I am afraid of being put in the closet and of being discriminated against”

We are afraid of being placarded if we ask for a change after the arrival of a child. Will we be able to continue to evolve in the company, to climb the ranks (if it is our desire) while we refuse the trips accepted so far or the meetings on Fridays at 5 pm? It is a legitimate fear, widely shared.

The right strategy: be clear about what you want and express it

We thought we would “manage” to keep up with the pace we had before. And then in fact, no. We have the right to change our minds, to simply want to do something else. The bridges will perhaps be easier than one imagines.

Being clear about what you want (or what you no longer want) allows you to be more impactful and to put the maximum chances on your side to make things happen. And if we can't find an agreement, then maybe it will be time to leave. And to find a company that is more in line with its values ​​and needs as a salaried parent.

This is the case with Laure, who went through the Take stock program that I launched: “When I returned from my first maternity leave, I was changed my job without notifying me or having me sign an amendment to the contract. A balance of power quickly began and my company was waiting for me to resign. I then took a lawyer. My case was typical of discrimination following pregnancy. I was able to enforce my rights and leave with a conventional break. “

“I'm afraid of running out of money and of being in a situation of insecurity”

Parenthood is also vulnerability. We only take care of ourselves and we are responsible for one or more other little people.

Financial fear is very present when it comes to switching (spoiler: a child costs money), at a time when we need security and stability.

It is also a well-anchored societal belief: that of having to have a stable and smooth situation at all costs when you become a parent. To this can be added fatigue which makes us even more doubtful.The right strategy: dive into Excel and analyze

We take out our Excel table. And we calculate. What do I really need? What am I ready to give up in my daily life (and that of my family) to make this switch? It is also an opportunity to flush out our limiting beliefs about money.

Bastien, a reconverted, explains it: “The brakes were mainly financial, I was afraid of what my change of life was going to have as an impact on what I was going to be able to bring to my child. I overcame these brakes by putting on a switch not only pro but also personal and holding on firmly. Unemployment allows me to guarantee the payment of bills. My standard of living has dropped slightly, but at least I'm doing what's best for myself, my wife and my unborn child. By reviewing my expectations and my needs, by focusing on the essentials and on my new family life to come, the brakes have been released. “

“I'm afraid of not finding the time to sit down to switch”

Becoming a parent means seeing your available time drastically reduced (like your brain time … hello lack of sleep!).

We also think that the new activity that we will have post-retraining will require us to adapt and increase our energy tenfold… Where our energy gauge is emptied as the nights go on. Is it really compatible? How can you manage to allow yourself this time to reflect on yourself when you become a parent?

The right strategy: accept that it takes time and that there is no perfect time

No matter how much we want to postpone as much as possible this moment when we will have to ask ourselves to “think”, this moment will come all the same. We don't put pressure on ourselves, it depends on each parent and their situation. We tend to underestimate the maturation time of a switch, it takes time, so no guilt.

Some take advantage of their pregnancy or maternity leave to begin their retraining, others prefer to wait. There is no such thing as a perfect time!

Marine, who went there in stages, says: “I started by changing jobs in the same ‘box' that is national education. I took an 80% while putting my child in nursery every day to have time for me. I took a job that exhausted me less because before switching, I wanted to regain my strength. I don't want it to go too fast. “

For further

Do you still want to switch but you don't know where to start? To support parents and future parents in their desire for professional changes, Switch Collective has created a complete file “Switcher by being / becoming a parent”, with more in-depth advice for switching at your own pace and testimonials from alumni who have taken the plunge. .

In addition to the dossier, a live “Switcher when you are a parent” will be hosted by Clara Délétraz on Tuesday, December 7, 2021, on Zoom. Registrations here.


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